Post # 7

OK - so I am really bad about keeping up with this. I do apologize but blame it on Christmas and Work (that 4 letter word).

Speaking of Christmas, Merry, Merry to all. And may the New Year of 2010 be filled with wonderful surprises, health and happiness for all.

SO, here's an update on our progess.

We had our 2nd Home Study visit right before Christmas. I think it went well. I got to talk all about me which was either totaly fascinating or a total bore for the Social Worker. Chuck goes next on January 6. In the meantime, we are almost done with the paperwork for the US and are starting on the Ukraine dossier - which is daunting. I DO get the need to be careful about potential adopter NOT being pedofiles, drug addicts, mass murderers, etc. But ENOUGH ALL READY!! I am all about protecting children BUT - enuff awww ready!

The good news is that we are still in the running. The bad news is that we are sooo sad about the timing. This is the latest time table per our Ukrainian contact - an excerpt from his email follows.

I'm glad you have started the Ukraine Dossier. Make sure your homestudy recommendation is for a child OLDER than 12, to make sure I submit you without any lines (there are lines for smaller kids). Please, don't be concerned about the time for apostille process - you can apostille everything once all docs are ready, esp. if you have to drive far for apostilling. Then you would mail it all to me. SDA will not be accepting dossiers in January, so let's do this timeline:

Feb 1 - dossier is submitted

Feb 20 - invitation is issued

Mar 20 - you travel to Ukraine

April 20 - you return home with Alyona

PLEASE, keep us, and Alyona, in your prayers. I soooo want this to happen - NOW! But I know it is not in my time but God's. God grant me patience, and I want it NOW! Amen.

We love you all and appreciate your continued support.

C&C

Post #6 - A Week Late

And now for something completely different...
Well, not really. It seems like bureaucratic mishandling is the norm - not different. So I am going to keep this short and sweet - because the end IS sweet.

So on Friday, 12/4, I ssat all afternoon in the USCIS office. When I finally got to deal with real people, they actually tried to be very helpful. I was grateful for that. Fortunately the first person I got to deal with was the Deputy Director of the local office. He made sure I talked to the correct person - a Deputy in charge of Adoptions - Deputy Clarke. This young woman was really trying to get to the bottom of the situatuion but basically, at least at the point, she only know where was a "snag" in the central system that had rejected every application that had come in.

Long story short, Deputy Clarke called me everyday this week to let me know that she was working on it but didn't have a definitive answer. At least not until Friday 12/11. And to word is......

Alyona's paperwork was accepted on December 1 - 3 days before her 16th birthday!!!!

This is such great news - Thank you, God!

Now we can continue with some minor amount of confidence that we can actually bring Alyona home some time sooner rather than later. Next stop - tackling the Ukrainian govenment.

Post #5

And then the shoe dropped. On Friday (as in 3 days ago) we got a rejection from USCIS in the mail, late in the day. Why? Because the barcode didn't print on the paperwork so they wouldn't accept it!!!! And no, I am not kidding. My heart sank. We have told very few people because we are afraid it won't happen and now this. At first I was like, OK that's it. But after I completely over-reacted (go figure!) I just got MORE DETERMINED than EVER to make this happen for Alyona. Bureaucratic red tape - from either side of the pound - is not going to stop us!


Saturday we scrambled to get the paperwork re-done and printed complete with the barcode - and again rushed to the post office. Today, I start contacting our Congressman's and Senators' offices. We need all the political support we can get. And even more positive thoughts and prayers. Please, if you can find it in your heart, pray for us for guidance, perseverance, and diligence. For Alyona, pray that God's will for her life be carefully, lovingly and smoothly set on the right course.

Here is the worst part. I was leaving for Colorado Springs for 4 days. I have idea how I am going to monitor this. I will get in touch with our Congressman's office ASAP. Remember, Alyona turns 16 in only 6 days!!!!

A Side Note - Post #2

I have to explain here that at 16 the kids in the Ukraine "graduate" from the orphanage. Unless there is a family member - often a not much older sibling - to take them in, they are on their own. To put it in perspective, these kids are not beaten, fed gruel and clothed in rags like some Victorian novel (no Oliver Twist here!) but they are not given many life skills or vocational training. Best employment opps? Waitressing, nanny, drug-trafficking, prostitution. And no, I am not being overly dramatic. Some kids might qualify for scholarships for further education - but that is not the norm. Additionally, the US doesn't consider a child adoptable after 16 and getting a VISA at the point very difficult. One last point, these kids are smaller in statute than our kids (think 13 y.o. looking 10) and have been institutionalized long enough to be emotionally delayed as well.

It Begins - #1

As promised, here is the story, " How we came to adopting Alyona."

Or I should say the BEGINNING of the story as it will undoubtedly (hopefully?) be just that, a beginning of a journey that will carry on for all of her life - and ours.

Back in October - the weekend before Halloween - Chuck and I had the occasion to help coordinate a group of kids from the Ukraine. They arrived here at Dulles and were headed for Charlotte, NC. The purpose of their trip was to be vacation from the orphanage. Well, that is part of the intent. The other is to introduce them to host families who might take a liking to the kids and want to adopt them.

I have to stop here and introduce our friend and former neighbor, Michelle P. She coordinated the visit. She, her husband and beautiful daughter live in KY now. They have hosted a child and have great love and understanding about this process. Her CLT counter part, Dan, were the ones making all the arrangements. Dan and his wife have already adopted and were in the process of adopting 2 more. Chuck’s & my role on this hosting was to help Michelle get food & drinks ready for the kids, transport Dan & Michelle to the airport and just to make ourselves useful to them.

So much for staying in the background!

We found ourselves with 10 Ukrainian orphans, 1 translator, a chaperon, and 2 US coordinators! It was a fascinating, life changing even, event. We were supposed to be transportation to and from the airport for the US coordinators and ended up involved with over night arrangements and finding real humanity along the way. It never ceases to amaze me how, if you allow things to fall in place, directed by a higher power (I chose to call God), that life can unfold beautiful things and connections that would never happen or come to light if forced or planned.

To clarify, the kids got out of customs (1.5+ after landing) and were just exhausted. They traveled from Kiev (pronounced Keev in Ukrainian. Our traditional pronunciation of Kee-evh is Russian.) to Moscow and then on to Dulles. 17+ hours of travel makes for miserable adults and sick kids. The original plan was that once out of Customs, the 2 US coordinators would pile these 12 weary travelers into 2 vans and drive them the 6.5 hours to Charlotte where the host families awaited. The interpreter begged the coordinators to not make the kids travel anymore. Nervous breakdowns would surely occur and I think the poor woman was afraid the kids would blame her. Chuck and I looked at one another and said, "Sure - we live in a 2 bedroom townhouse - no problem! Let all 12 Ukrainians and 2 coordinators sleep at our house. I mean, heck, we’ve got couches and the kids are small...

Well, level heads prevailed and I started calling neighbors and friends in an attempt to get as many aero beds as possible. Long story short, I contacted neighbors who happened to be with other neighbors at other friends' home to ask if anyone of them could help. (Was secretly hoping they would open their homes, if truth be told.) Well, they did one better. The home where the 2 neighbor couples were are mutual friends. Stephanie and Ward have a large, beautiful home. (Think 4+ bedrooms, huge open kitchen, etc., downstairs playroom complete with pool table, air hockey, darts, punching bag, etc.) They got on the phone with me and said to bring them all to their place - about 20 mins away. The 2 neighbor couples, another couple we didn't know, and Stephanie and Ward, were there decorating for the big Halloween Costume party to be help the next weekend. They were already in the entertaining mode so, well, it was the perfect answer; hence my comment above things falling into place and the wonder of humanity. It was about as close to a God orchestrated progression of events as I have seen.
A couple of the highlights, and funnies, from the evening to share. First off, I don't know how/if Halloween is celebrated in the Ukraine but I guarantee it is not as elaborate as Steph and Ward do it. Imagine this. Exhausted kids who know little to no English, packed in vans, pulling up on a dark country road to an iron gate. You have to ring the bell and get the gates buzzed open to get on the owners property. Then we drive up in the dark drive to a large house that has 2 larger than life jack-o-lanterns on either side of the door. Hanging above the front door is the 10" life-like witch. Steph and Ward are standing on the stoop holding on to the collars of their extra-large King German Shepherds - who are barking their heads off. I can only imagine what these poor kids though. Think Cruella de Ville on steroids!! Poor things probably thought they were doomed.

But the fear and in trepidation didn't last too long as the kids were welcomed, shown to rooms, allowed to choose their own toppings for homemade pizza (a food that knows NO international boundaries ), choice of soda and TONS of space to run around in, lots of loving adults giving hugs and encouragement. I think the adults got even more out of it than the kids. Of course, the Mojitos/wine/beer and other adult beverages didn't hurt either! And NO, no one got trashed (not even Chuck!).

The next morning, the neighbor guys went back over to the house to help Stephanie and Ward cook a big breakfast - eggs, bacon, pancakes, etc. - pack 'em all yup and send them on their way to Charlotte. Weary, sick travelers all refreshed and ready to meet the host families with renewed energy and positive attitude.

I am not exaggerating when I say it was life changing for all. Even more so for Chuck and me. The next day, we were talking about how wonderful it was and how glad we were to be able to participate in this. We talked about possibly hosting the next summer when kids come for about 3 weeks. Chuck looked straight at me and said, "You know, our life style would really change if we were to adopt a child now." I about fell out of my chair. We weren't talking about adopting; we were talking about a few weeks! But, being the calm, unflappable woman that I am, I replied, "Yes, it really would. And that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing." I had fallen for one of the 13 year old girls and Chuck counters with "Yes, but she has a chance to be adopted. If we were ever to do this, it would make more sense to go for the 15-16 year olds because they are more in danger of being out on the street too soon." Odd conversation for a childless, middle-aged couple who like to travel and party to have, don't you think?

The Beginning - Post #3

Fast forward a couple of weeks. The kids are back home in the Ukraine and Chuck & I think our hearts are safe. But guess what? Now we are on the email distribution list! Oh Joy! Another string of emails.


So an urgent plea, via a group email, lands in my mailbox. It asks all to consider adopting a 15 year old girl who is about to turn 16 in a few days. I looked at the picture of this sweet looking, blonde, fair girl and promptly deleted it. I DID mention it to Chuck over the next couple of days and we again agreed it would be a huge life style change but interesting to contemplate.

The next week, what I thought was the same email coming back around, lands in my mailbox with a subject line of, "You may have already seen this..."

I didn't open it but called Chuck at the office and told him it came back around. I was just feeling it pull me this time. We agreed to talk about it that evening. Well, that evening I had a deacons meeting at church so before I left, I said something along the lines of, "Ya know, if we are gonna go this, we HAVE to be on the same page. It can't be your idea or my idea. It has to be OUR commitment." Obvious, I know, but it had to be out on the table. I left for the meeting and said, we need to make a decision this evening because the initial paperwork has to be filed before her 16th birthday or it is too late. She can turn 16 and be OK as long as their petition is filed before then.

I come home a few hours later and ask, "Did you have a chance to think about this."

I am expecting (hoping?) to hear “NO!, just not doable.”

Chuck answered with, "Yes...................(pregnant pause)".

"OK," says I, "and what do you think? Should we go for it?"

To which he answers, "Yes...........(pregnant pause)"

After a stunned silence, I shakily croaked, “Who are you? And what have you done with my husband?” (I am thinking alien abduction? Brain drain? SOMETHING dramatic!)

Once the shock wore off, I opened the email and read it, looked at the picture, got the contact, info, etc. Guess what? NOT the same fair-haired cutie named Lilyiana but instead a dark haired beauty with deep, soulful brown eyes named Alyona. Could she possible pass as my child? Was this the one meant to be? Fanciful questions or the hand of God? Does it matter?

At that, my friends, is how our journey started. This was Wednesday the 11th. I had to run around and get initial paperwork, etc. to the post office by Friday (the 13th - YIKES ) for delivery to USCIS. I had delivered overnight, delivery confirmation, etc.

We then contacted a Home Study Agency, because you have to have 3 required visits. And they are suppose to help with getting a dossier together. A dossier, by the way, is nothing more than plethora of paperwork. And God forbid the US and the Ukraine except each others SAME freaking forms!!

The fun begins in earnest now. I knew it couldn’t be so easy. Stay tuned for the next adventures.

The email that stole our hearts -post # 4

Can you please help save this child by circulating this request:


Alyona, DOB: Dec. 4, 1993 - turning 16 VERY soon - wants a family very much. Calm, well balanced girl, pleasant, shy, gentle, very nice, studies very well, performs tasks of adults with pleasure, takes part in orphanage activities, obedient – all best characteristics from orphanage director and staff. Really wants a family and agrees to be adopted abroad, not afraid. The orphanage where she comes from is involved in LOTS of social activities - singing, dancing, performing at city concerts and competitions, sports events - a very joyful and loving place. An interested family will receive more photos of orphanage activities to see the environment Alyona was growing in.

Please, help save Alyona from orphanage graduation – only 6 days left before somebody has to start applying for her!!!